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laurelin_kitToday after school, I went with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lindi_of_rohan, renethetoaster, flame_of_death and avelena to the mall to shop for underwear. After trolling through Fredericks of Hollywood (BELLYDANCER COSTUMES!) and Victoria's Secret (yay for trying on really expensive makeup!), we went to look at cute dresses, get smoothies, etc. One by one our party split up until it was time for me to get money dropped off for me. Yay! I am no longer penniless! And then Rene had to go and Molly's feet were about to die, so she took me home.
The parents were out seeing The Stepford Wives, so the truck was left in my posession. This, I think, is good! I will go to Hollywood Video and rent Ella Enchanted! Oh yes. So I pull out, it's drizzling. No big deal.
In the words of Julia Roberts: Big mistake. HUGE.
So, to get to Hollywood Video, I leave the neighborhood and go out onto US1, then on Sarno for a few miles, and then do some weird turning and Wal-Mart parking lot maneuvering. This I can normally do with no trouble at all, even though I'm an amateur driver who is bad at driving in the rain.
Guess what? IT'S RAINING.
Not just raining, oh no. By the time I was going to turn onto Sarno (about a tenth of the way to Hollywood Video and with no reasonable way to turn around without risking life, limb and driving privileges), it was pouring. Nice big buckets. And the lightning? Did I mention that, because it was there. Okay. So, I put on some Manilow (SHUT up.) and sing as loud as I can. That strange detachment exercise thing. Green arrow, yay. I turn. It's REALLY raining. Ha. I can do this, I think to myself. I can't see where the puddles are, says the other half of my brain. I'm going to die, says that same half. Shut the FUCK UP, says the first half.
I start out driving down Sarno with a bunch of other cars around me. Yay, says my brain, they are my buddies. I will be safe with them!
Yeah, how about not?
About halfway there, I notice...THEY'RE ALL GONE. THEY LEFT ME. And I'm running through the puddles, trying to avoid them, praying I don't sideswipe the invisible cars around me. Panic, panic, panic! Intersection. Nice, loud, Bloodhound Gang music. You and me, baby, we ain't nothin' but mammals. I'm gonna die, says the nasty half of my brain that I really don't like any more. Dad was right. He kept telling me all those horror stories while I was driving. All the stupid teenagers. I'm gonna be a statistic. I don't wanna be a statistic. I wonder what they'll play at my funeral. Because it's not just the rain going now. Oh no. The lightning is really big, and really close. This is the kind of weather your mother tells you to park in a parking lot for. Stop until it's all over. Except I don't like the neighborhoods near Sarno (no offense, Lizzie, they scare me.), and I have to wait it out at Hollywood Video. The lightning was really, really, really, really bad.
I don't wanna die, says that half of my brain. Suddenly, I smack myself.
BITCH, I yell (yes, out loud). SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU ARE A GOOD DRIVER.
Lightning flashes like WHOA and the streetlights start blinking. Yeah, this is a bad thing. The cars that had green before stopped, and the car next to me starts inching forward. GAH! I AM CONFUSED! I inch forward too. This car is my buddy. This car is blocking cars coming from the left. I'm inching inching and YAY, across and into the Wal-Mart parking lot! Victory. I start planning if I want to call someone to come pick me up. WHO DO I CALL? WHO IS ON MY PHONE BOOK IN MY CELL? Molly just left me. That's a no. Rene has to be home. April is nervous about driving and the shiny road probably doesn't help with the no-depth-perception thing. Kari is too far away. Not my parents, I'd never drive again. Becky is in freaking PALM BAY. I'd never call the SFA people. Livvi is in Tampa. Misha is in Tampa. The radio station will not help me, and neither will the library. I will not disturb Seb because I'm acting like an idiot. Ross would laugh at me. Don't argue, you probably would. And my Voice Mail does not have a car. So that leaves...waiting it out in Hollywood Video.
It's raining harder than ever, and as I pull into the parking space at Hollywood Video, I go hysterical. Seriously, hysterical, as in "Plebe, I do believe I have the vapors!" Uncle Peter! My smelling salts! Again, my nice half of my brain speaks up. Out loud, because I talk to myself.
SHUT UP. STOP IT! You are going to stop being a fucking moron, turn off the fucking car, and get your bitch ass into Hollywood Video and wait it out. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
Yeah, I did yell that out loud.
Lock the door, turn off the headlights, put cell in pocket, grab smoothie. Run. Inside, I walk around the shelves. A, B, C, D, E...E....E!!! I run up to the desk and grab the display copy of Ella Enchanted.
Me: DO YOU HAVE THIS FOR RENT?
Clerk: Uh...lemme check. No, we're all out.
Me: ....@#$%^$#%^$%^@#$!$##$^%%*$%^@$#@@!!!!!!!!!!!
Clerk: ...?
Me: That...that fucking sucks. I just drove through the worst of that storm to...goddammit.
They do not have The Sleeping Dictionary or Tempo. They have nothing. All is empty. I leave. Thankfully, the sky is nice and clear. FUCK YOU, SKY! I get back in the car and look around. I decide to test Fate some more and go drop off Hornblower at the library, because it's due. I go, uneventfully, decide whether I'm going to cross the causeway and look for Ella Enchanted in the Blockbuster over there. I pull over in the parking lot of a surf shop and call 411. Cause, I'm smart like that. I call...connect...NO. The kiddies have TAKEN my Hugh from there as well! The second I hang up I remember about Tempo. FUCK. I call back, attempt a Southern accent so I don't appear to be an idiot. (Because GOD KNOWS the other events of this evening haven't spelled that out in Vegas sparkly lights) No, they do not have Tempo.
I slink home in defeat, only to find that my copy of The Sleeping Dictionary has not arrived in the mail either.
All is bleak. Except for the fact that I'm NOT DEAD.
lindi_of_rohan, renethetoaster, flame_of_death and avelena to the mall to shop for underwear. After trolling through Fredericks of Hollywood (BELLYDANCER COSTUMES!) and Victoria's Secret (yay for trying on really expensive makeup!), we went to look at cute dresses, get smoothies, etc. One by one our party split up until it was time for me to get money dropped off for me. Yay! I am no longer penniless! And then Rene had to go and Molly's feet were about to die, so she took me home.The parents were out seeing The Stepford Wives, so the truck was left in my posession. This, I think, is good! I will go to Hollywood Video and rent Ella Enchanted! Oh yes. So I pull out, it's drizzling. No big deal.
In the words of Julia Roberts: Big mistake. HUGE.
So, to get to Hollywood Video, I leave the neighborhood and go out onto US1, then on Sarno for a few miles, and then do some weird turning and Wal-Mart parking lot maneuvering. This I can normally do with no trouble at all, even though I'm an amateur driver who is bad at driving in the rain.
Guess what? IT'S RAINING.
Not just raining, oh no. By the time I was going to turn onto Sarno (about a tenth of the way to Hollywood Video and with no reasonable way to turn around without risking life, limb and driving privileges), it was pouring. Nice big buckets. And the lightning? Did I mention that, because it was there. Okay. So, I put on some Manilow (SHUT up.) and sing as loud as I can. That strange detachment exercise thing. Green arrow, yay. I turn. It's REALLY raining. Ha. I can do this, I think to myself. I can't see where the puddles are, says the other half of my brain. I'm going to die, says that same half. Shut the FUCK UP, says the first half.
I start out driving down Sarno with a bunch of other cars around me. Yay, says my brain, they are my buddies. I will be safe with them!
Yeah, how about not?
About halfway there, I notice...THEY'RE ALL GONE. THEY LEFT ME. And I'm running through the puddles, trying to avoid them, praying I don't sideswipe the invisible cars around me. Panic, panic, panic! Intersection. Nice, loud, Bloodhound Gang music. You and me, baby, we ain't nothin' but mammals. I'm gonna die, says the nasty half of my brain that I really don't like any more. Dad was right. He kept telling me all those horror stories while I was driving. All the stupid teenagers. I'm gonna be a statistic. I don't wanna be a statistic. I wonder what they'll play at my funeral. Because it's not just the rain going now. Oh no. The lightning is really big, and really close. This is the kind of weather your mother tells you to park in a parking lot for. Stop until it's all over. Except I don't like the neighborhoods near Sarno (no offense, Lizzie, they scare me.), and I have to wait it out at Hollywood Video. The lightning was really, really, really, really bad.
I don't wanna die, says that half of my brain. Suddenly, I smack myself.
BITCH, I yell (yes, out loud). SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU ARE A GOOD DRIVER.
Lightning flashes like WHOA and the streetlights start blinking. Yeah, this is a bad thing. The cars that had green before stopped, and the car next to me starts inching forward. GAH! I AM CONFUSED! I inch forward too. This car is my buddy. This car is blocking cars coming from the left. I'm inching inching and YAY, across and into the Wal-Mart parking lot! Victory. I start planning if I want to call someone to come pick me up. WHO DO I CALL? WHO IS ON MY PHONE BOOK IN MY CELL? Molly just left me. That's a no. Rene has to be home. April is nervous about driving and the shiny road probably doesn't help with the no-depth-perception thing. Kari is too far away. Not my parents, I'd never drive again. Becky is in freaking PALM BAY. I'd never call the SFA people. Livvi is in Tampa. Misha is in Tampa. The radio station will not help me, and neither will the library. I will not disturb Seb because I'm acting like an idiot. Ross would laugh at me. Don't argue, you probably would. And my Voice Mail does not have a car. So that leaves...waiting it out in Hollywood Video.
It's raining harder than ever, and as I pull into the parking space at Hollywood Video, I go hysterical. Seriously, hysterical, as in "Plebe, I do believe I have the vapors!" Uncle Peter! My smelling salts! Again, my nice half of my brain speaks up. Out loud, because I talk to myself.
SHUT UP. STOP IT! You are going to stop being a fucking moron, turn off the fucking car, and get your bitch ass into Hollywood Video and wait it out. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
Yeah, I did yell that out loud.
Lock the door, turn off the headlights, put cell in pocket, grab smoothie. Run. Inside, I walk around the shelves. A, B, C, D, E...E....E!!! I run up to the desk and grab the display copy of Ella Enchanted.
Me: DO YOU HAVE THIS FOR RENT?
Clerk: Uh...lemme check. No, we're all out.
Me: ....@#$%^$#%^$%^@#$!$##$^%%*$%^@$#@@!!!!!!!!!!!
Clerk: ...?
Me: That...that fucking sucks. I just drove through the worst of that storm to...goddammit.
They do not have The Sleeping Dictionary or Tempo. They have nothing. All is empty. I leave. Thankfully, the sky is nice and clear. FUCK YOU, SKY! I get back in the car and look around. I decide to test Fate some more and go drop off Hornblower at the library, because it's due. I go, uneventfully, decide whether I'm going to cross the causeway and look for Ella Enchanted in the Blockbuster over there. I pull over in the parking lot of a surf shop and call 411. Cause, I'm smart like that. I call...connect...NO. The kiddies have TAKEN my Hugh from there as well! The second I hang up I remember about Tempo. FUCK. I call back, attempt a Southern accent so I don't appear to be an idiot. (Because GOD KNOWS the other events of this evening haven't spelled that out in Vegas sparkly lights) No, they do not have Tempo.
I slink home in defeat, only to find that my copy of The Sleeping Dictionary has not arrived in the mail either.
All is bleak. Except for the fact that I'm NOT DEAD.
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Poor Laura!!
Date: 2004-08-27 06:03 pm (UTC)Re: Poor Laura!!
Date: 2004-08-27 06:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-27 07:09 pm (UTC)Hugh Dancy is the most adorable thing since sliced bread... if sliced bread were considered adorable instead of ingenius. But really... so drool worthy and I didn't even get to see King Arthur! (::is angered:: it went out of theatres before I had the chance)... He's worth the rain. But I'm glad you didn't die, you dying would have been extremely bad. Especially if you died with unfufilled Hugh Dancy lust. o.O
no subject
Date: 2004-08-27 07:11 pm (UTC)King Arthur is at the Theatre Formerly Known As The Roxy 10.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-27 08:11 pm (UTC)<3!
Date: 2004-08-27 08:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-28 10:29 am (UTC)