Conversations with Dead Pirates

[laurelin_kit]

So...a few hours ago, while I was talking to ironychan, I got an IM.

WeePirateRagetti: Hi! ^^
WeePirateRagetti: Help!

I do not know this person.

LeaSheElf: Hello?
WeePirateRagetti: Hi. ^^
LeaSheElf: Hi, who is this?
WeePirateRagetti: Ragetti. You don't know me.

Say it with me. WHAT. THE. FUCK.



WeePirateRagetti: Hi! ^^
WeePirateRagetti: Help!
LeaSheElf: Hello?
WeePirateRagetti: Hi. ^^
LeaSheElf: Hi, who is this?
WeePirateRagetti: Ragetti. You don't know me.
WeePirateRagetti: :B
LeaSheElf: Okay. Dealing with the fact that a seventeenth century FICTIONAL pirate has AOL. Shoot.
WeePirateRagetti: I DOES.
WeePirateRagetti: I be speshul-like.
WeePirateRagetti: *Makes big eye.*
LeaSheElf: So, why do you need the help of someone who doesn't write Pirates fanfiction?
WeePirateRagetti: I can't remember. But. I added you for a reason!
WeePirateRagetti: I'm just trying to figure it out.
LeaSheElf: Okay...
WeePirateRagetti: *Sniff.*
LeaSheElf: Are you on LJ?
WeePirateRagetti: You can't hate meh!
WeePirateRagetti: No.
LeaSheElf: Are you on ff.net?
WeePirateRagetti: Nope. :D Do read from it tho.
LeaSheElf: Do you read any of my fics? ID: Lea of Mirkwood.
WeePirateRagetti: Let me see!
WeePirateRagetti: ...No.
WeePirateRagetti: Strange.
LeaSheElf: Hm...
WeePirateRagetti: I will figure it out!
WeePirateRagetti: When I grow a brain.
WeePirateRagetti: *Sniff.*
WeePirateRagetti: Maybe I won't find out.
WeePirateRagetti: But you'll have your very own pathetic pirate friend! :D
LeaSheElf: Lol.
WeePirateRagetti: Ye need one o' those. They be in fashion.
LeaSheElf: ...Riiight.
WeePirateRagetti: *Sniff.*
WeePirateRagetti: I can do fun thingies!
WeePirateRagetti: Like juggle me eye...
WeePirateRagetti: An' so.
LeaSheElf: Yeah, that's a...talent.
LeaSheElf: What country do you live in?
WeePirateRagetti: Ainit tho?
WeePirateRagetti: The Netherlands.
LeaSheElf: Hm.
WeePirateRagetti: :D Squee.
LeaSheElf: I'm in the US.
WeePirateRagetti: Ooh. Ye Olde Americanos.
LeaSheElf: Yeah, lucky us with a monkey for a leader.
WeePirateRagetti: Monkey!
LeaSheElf: Yeah, a chimp named Dubya.
WeePirateRagetti: ....Though... BE PROUD O' ME. 'sides bein' fictional, 17-century-ed, dum' as a piece o' bildge wood, 'avin' one eye AN' there aint no computer invented yet, I do 'ave AOL.
WeePirateRagetti: I be ahead o' me time!
WeePirateRagetti: O_@!
LeaSheElf: It must be your eye. It picks up different times and technology.
WeePirateRagetti: Ye fink so missus?
WeePirateRagetti: *Plucks it out to stare at.*
LeaSheElf: Lol.
WeePirateRagetti: Yer real clever. :B
WeePirateRagetti: I aint. *Sad sniffle.*
LeaSheElf: I'm sure you are in other ways.
WeePirateRagetti: Oh nay.
LeaSheElf: You're probably an excellent pirate.
WeePirateRagetti: ....
WeePirateRagetti: *Long silence.*
WeePirateRagetti: I...I can jump o' 'igh buildin's.
LeaSheElf: See, that's good! You can do that.
WeePirateRagetti: *Nods happily.*
WeePirateRagetti: *Sniff.* So ye aint angry no more?
LeaSheElf: Oh, never was angry, just confused.
WeePirateRagetti: S-so...
WeePirateRagetti: Yer gonna marry me? O_@
LeaSheElf: I don't recall that coming up in the conversation before.
WeePirateRagetti: But...
WeePirateRagetti: *Sniff.*
LeaSheElf: It didn't come up.
WeePirateRagetti: So yes?
LeaSheElf: I don't think I ought to marry someone I don't know, let alone someone in a completely different century, and in the Netherlands.
LeaSheElf: With AOL in their wooden eyeball. It's the AOL part that worries me, not the eyeball.
WeePirateRagetti: Ohs. Well...
WeePirateRagetti: Ye is missin' lots!
WeePirateRagetti: No' sure what, but ye is.
LeaSheElf: I'm sure you can find a lovely pirate woman!
WeePirateRagetti: There aint no pirate wemmen only An'Maria an' she broke me wrist. S-so.
LeaSheElf: From what tales I hear, there are millions of pirate queens with red flowing hair/raven tresses/golden locks who are beautiful and know everything about boats and fight like the best pirate.
WeePirateRagetti: They got frilly dressies?
WeePirateRagetti: Tha's crucial.
LeaSheElf: Yes, and occasionally frilly shirts and men's breeches when they have to do battle.
WeePirateRagetti: Oooh.
WeePirateRagetti: B-but.
WeePirateRagetti: Wha' is Pinters goin' t' say?
LeaSheElf: But?
LeaSheElf: Well, he could find one too.
WeePirateRagetti: Don' they mind 'ow we be's lookin' tho?
WeePirateRagetti: *Sad quiver.*
LeaSheElf: They're open-minded, I'm sure.
WeePirateRagetti: Ye sure?
LeaSheElf: If they were, they wouldn't be pirate queens, because being a pirate queen is strange in itself!
WeePirateRagetti: Ohs. Aye!
WeePirateRagetti: Aint them mean thooo?
LeaSheElf: Some are, but some are caring inside and just need the love of a good pirate.
WeePirateRagetti: But I be's a lousy pirate.
WeePirateRagetti: I swabs!
LeaSheElf: You're a good pirate inside with a good pirate-y heart.
WeePirateRagetti: *Pats his shirt, curious.*
WeePirateRagetti: Don' feel.
LeaSheElf: It's INSIDE.
WeePirateRagetti: Ohs! *Grins.*
WeePirateRagetti: Hee, I needs t' go to me cabin now! <3
LeaSheElf: Okay.
LeaSheElf: Have a nice day!
WeePirateRagetti: *Puts frilly bonnet on.*
LeaSheElf: :-)
WeePirateRagetti: Ciao. :B
WeePirateRagetti: *Toddles away.*
WeePirateRagetti signed off at 6:10:40 PM.

Anyone have any ideas? I mean, sure, it was fun to humor whoever the hell this was, but...but...the whole time I had on this face. This O.o face, the same face Orlando Bloom had when he heard the story about Jack Sparrow and said, "So that's why he's all..." and THAT FACE, yes, THAT face is the face I kept making.

Comments

[lindi-of-rohan.livejournal.com]

Eh, I don't know what to tell you, except that this person probably doesn't live in the Netherlands, being so wise in the dialect of smarmy pirates. I don't think they pose any threat, though, lol. I don't know exactly the reason this person IMed you - were they looking for a pirate queen? I don't know. *shrug* You just attract the weirdest people, Gremlin. ^.~

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

I AM the weirdest person, Liam Neeson.

[beckyincharge.livejournal.com]

Generally, if I don't know someone on AIM, they have about six lines to tell me who the are. If they're still dicking with me on line 7, I block them.

[avenueadore.livejournal.com]

huh, weird. i would have been annoyed. people i -know- annoy me on AIM.