The hilarious internet antics of my best friend

[laurelin_kit]

This is all C&Ped from our forum.


Grant:

The Effects of Vaginal Volume on Dinitrogen Tetraoxide Reactions



Objective

The objective of this experiment is to allow dinitrogen tetraoxide (N2O4) to reach equilibrium with nitrogen dioxide (NO2) in vaginas of varying volumes. This will be done to explore the equilibrating effects change in volume and pressures have on reactions in regard to Le Chatelier's principle.
Materials

- Dinitrogen tetraoxide gas
- 300-mL vagina
- 500-mL vagina
- Test tubes

Procedure

The first step in this experiment is to calibrate the vaginas. In order to do this, the vaginas must be filled with saline solution, and then drained into a 500-mL beaker. Keep in mind, this work is being done with live animals, and it must be carried out with ample regard and respect for other living creatures.

Once this is accomplished, the vaginas may be filled with the dinitrogen tetraoxide gas. The cylinders have been pre-portioned to dispense the gas with a volume of 300-mL under ideal gas conditions (1 atm, 25 degrees C).

At this point, the vaginas are to have the test tubes inserted into them so that the open end is within the vagina itself. Allow the dinitrogen tetraoxide to fill the tube, and make sure there is a firm seal around the end of the tube. Observe and record the color of the gas in the tube.

Next, the vaginas are to be instructed to constrict, effectively decreasing their respective volumes by one half. In doing so, the pressure exerted on the gas is increased by a factor of two. Record the color change of the gas while this occurs.

Data and results

Although dinitrogen tetraoxide gas has no color, the initial color in the test tube was that of a pale yellow. This is because the dinitrogen tetraoxide gas reaches equilibrium with yellow nitrogen dioxide gas as per the following reaction.

N2O2 --> 2NO2

Once the vagina constricted, however, the relative concentration of the nitrogen oxide gas increased, deepening the yellow color. But, after a brief moment, the increased pressure caused more nitrogen oxide molecules to come into contact with one another, causing them to react and form more dinitrogen tetraoxide. Once this occurred, the color returned to being a pale yellow. This is due to equilibrium being established.

It should be noted that the initial color in the larger vagina was fainter than the color in the smaller vagina, and once constricted, the color in the larger vagina roughly matched the color of the unconstricted smaller vagina.

Conclusion

Overall, the experiment was effective in illustrating the basic concepts of Le Chatelier’s principle. The experiment could have been made more accurate, however, by a more careful selection of vaginas. Calibrating the given vaginas was difficult as it was clear that both had been used for many years, and it was apparent that many foreign objects, not just test tubes, had been inserted in the apertures. It is not clear whether or not this was done with the purposes of science in mind, and this likely made the measurements less accurate than they could have been.

Nick:

Grant took his last lab report and replaced one word with vagina and (hopefully) added that bit about animals.

Grant:

No, Nick. This is something I performed last night after six shitty margaritas, and I typed up my results at work.

I'll show you my lab notes later. They smell like tuna.

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love my friends.

EDIT:

[11:31] Ethan: the lab report
[11:32] Grant: lulz
[11:33] Ethan: the vaginas are instructed to constrict
[11:34] Ethan: damn vaginas being sullied for un-scientific purposes
[11:34] Grant: They're such a fertile ground for knowledge.
[11:35] Ethan: oh my god
[11:35] Grant: I think that's the best pun I've ever made.
[11:36] Ethan: probably one of the best ever made
[11:36] Ethan: since the days of Oscar Wilde