I'm even sick of myself saying things like this.

I'm even sick of saying these things myself. I'm sick of having to make entries like this. I'm sick of always complaining about how I feel upset or trapped because I still live at home with parents who don't listen when I tell them what I want.

It's really, really not good for me because I realize one of the reasons I'm being unproductive is because if I decide to be productive with my life while I'm here, I have to do it exactly to her specifications and TALK about every step of the process and EXPLAIN why I made that decision. Fuck that, I say.

Jesus, I just want to to go the library instead of sitting around taking instructions on how to visit a school I'm not going to (UNF) just because I need a comparison. I've been trying to go to the library for 45 minutes. As in, I came out here 45 minutes ago holding my keys, my purse and books and said "I'm going to the library," and now I'm hearing "I want you to consider which is more important right now: going to the library or your future. I just wonder if you're making the right decision." What decision? That was ten minutes ago. If I was ever able to make a decision in this house, I would be at the library right now.

Fuck that. Fuck this. I'm saying this right now, this is an official proclamation. If I give in and stay in this house in 2006 and AM NOT living away from home come January, you can officially declare me lost and unable to stand up to my stupid mother in any way.

I told you I'd have the same taste in women as you.

I was thinking today, and I realized that there's generally a common factor in the women I find attractive. (Aesthetically.)

( None of you really care, I know, but you just want to see the pictures of the pretty. )

Most of them? Brunettes. Most of my characters? Brunettes.

And now I'm having a kickass awesome afternoon because I rented Mean Girls and The Notebook (numero dos for the hotsex) and am basking in the funny. Boo, you whore!