laurelin_kit | (no subject) (Reply)

laurelin_kit: although the whole "dave, you're a stupid bastard" spoiler is LIKE a blooper in itself

beckyincharge: which one?

beckyincharge: when does Jo NOT call him a stupid bastard?

beckyincharge: she probably says it during sex

laurelin_kit: when he can't find canada

laurelin_kit: LOL

beckyincharge: LOL

beckyincharge: cant find canada

laurelin_kit: lol

laurelin_kit: DAVE, YOU LOST CANADA!

EDIT:

"Dave, you're a stupid bastard."
"Shut up, Josephine, you damn cow!" shot back Dave uneasily, his dark brows drawing together as he frowned. "This ain't my fault!"
"Ain't your fault?" repeated Jo in disbelief. She smacked the reins of her horse against it's neck in pure frustration. "Dave, ya got us lost!"
"No, it ain't my fault!" reiterated Dave petulantly, looking up confusedly at the treetops as his horse side-stepped nervously. "All these mountains make it damn hard to figure out where-"
Gin's hand pushed back the canvas flap of the covered wagon and she leaned her head out.
"Can we please stop arguing?" she called. "Doc is trying to sleep."
"Gin," said Doc's voice from inside the wagon. "I don't have to sleep-"
Gin turned back to the inside and let the flap swing back shut. The others outside heard her voice demanding for him to lay back down and stop straining himself, and Doc's muted protests that it had been plenty of time for him to heal, and could he please sit outside?
Jo crossed herself and looked up at the heavens with a pleading look in her eyes. "Dear Jesus, Mary and Joseph, smite me dead if I ever end up like that."
Dave snorted derisively and blew a few strands of hair out of his face. "You'd never end up like that with me. Trust me."
"Well, I'd-" began Jo, and yelped in frustration. "If you can't even figure out which way is Canada, for God's sake-"
"Oh shut up, Perky!" cried Dave in exasperation.
"You shut up, you illiterate son of a bitch!" snapped Jo. Dave's jaw dropped and he stepped his horse closer to hers until they were side-by-side, and shook his finger in front of her nose.
"Hey, I am no longer illiterate-"
"Grammatically stunted, then," amended Jo coldly. Dave glared at her and tightened his lips angrily.
"Okay," he said in a growl, "now I'm getting' angry-"
"Please!" shouted Gin, climbing out to sit next to Chavez at the front seat of the wagon, tying on a calico bonnet as she went. "If you could just-"
"It's his fault!" cried Jo, pointing at Dave petulantly.
"You two are like some old married couple," chuckled Billy as he rode past with Jamie following him. "Always squabblin' about somethin' or other."
Dave opened his mouth in shock, stammered for a few seconds and managed to spit out a reply. "We are not! She's always blamin' everythin' on me!"
"That's what I mean."
Jamie stifled a snicker in her hand and looked away. Everyone was in high spirits. They were hundreds of miles away from New Mexico, and far away from the hands of the law that wanted to capture them and make them swing. The only thing they had to worry about was how to...
"Get to Canada!" yelled Jo, leaning across the gap between her and Dave's horses and pounding on his arm with her fists. "Get us to Canada, you idiot!"
"Be quiet, please!" cried Gin, pressing her hands to her ears and shutting her eyes tightly. "Just shut up!"
"You tell him to shut up, and if he doesn't make another noise, then I'll shut up!" snapped Jo, pointing to Dave angrily and sending him a dark glare. Dave threw up his hands in defeat and let out a short, humorless laugh.
"You, Josephine Perkins, don't know how to keep your mouth shut!" he argued. "Fine, I'll shut up, but I won't lead us another step! And I won't help any of you get out of here or help you get un-lost until you apologize to me."
Chavez sighed and let his head drop into his hands, and next to him Gin exhaled sharply and went back into the wagon.